Things have been busy around here as usual.. Leading me to write a lot less than I did at the beginning.. Sorry ya'll!

We've been given a lot of amazing opportunties through PT and I've been getting to spend a lot of time with my youth.
The week before last we went to a Rangers game, courtesy of the Rangers themselves! The kids/youth and their families were allowed to get free tickets to the game as long as they were able to get transportation to and from Ranger stadium. A lot of them ended up showing up and we had a great time! It was my first Major League Baseball game ever, and I loved that I got to spend it with the kids I've been pouring my heart into.

Last week I was also able to go mountain biking with my youth for the first time (we didn't get rained out this time, yay!). It was such an amazing experience to be with them outdoors and get the chance to encourage them as we braved the trails. One of my youth girls got a huge cut in her leg while mountain biking, and once we got back to Chapel Hill I attempted to clean it out (good ole hydrogen peroxide!) while Kristen, the mountain biker, held her hand and Katie, my site coordinator, consoled her. Amidst my youth's tears and cries of pain, she managed to convince Nic, one of my co youth leaders, that she had been attacked by a mountain lion! Nic was shocked. After her mom came and picked her up, Kristen and I proceeded to convince all of the interns (except Rico..) at Chapel Hill that we had bravely fought off the ferocious beasts known as mountain lions. Haha! Eventually the truth came out, and even Katie was surprised that we had been making the whole thing up. :)

Yesterday we had a representative from the Dallas Contemporary Museum of Art come to teach us about photography. The youth were split up into pairs and given the task of directing their partner into a photo-worthy pose. My partner was named Hunter. He is a bit of a trouble maker amidst our youth, but I see his heart. He's been through some stuff in his life that no one should have to go through, and I can tell that it hurts him. A lot of the time he states that whatever we're doing is boring and he doesn't like it, but I think (and tell him that I think!) that it's all just an act. I can't wait to see how God works in his life. But anyways, yesterday he was supposed to make me pose in a photo-worthy pose, complete with background and everything and at first it was hard to get him to participate. He told me he couldn't do it, but I continued to ask him questions such as: "Should I pose with my hands on my hips?"; "Should the picture be outside or inside?" and etc. and eventually he ended up with an awesome picture! I ask that you pray for his confidence. A lot of the time he doesn't believe he has the ability to complete the task at hand, and I ask that you pray for God to fill him with hope and with self-assurance. He can do A LOT more than he thinks he can do.

This week coming up is filled with a ton of activities and I ask you to pray for rest for all of the interns!

Our week is going to look like this:
Monday - City Wars

City Wars is a fort building project that we've been working on for a few weeks now. Our youth are split into two teams, and me, Nic, and Kendra have our own team. We are building "cardboard fortresses" with our teams, and then we are going to throw water balloons at eachother's forts during City Wars. The goal is to knock the two other teams' forts down before they manage to knock ours down. My youth are so excited!

Tuesday - Mountain biking

Our last day of mountain biking with Ken and Kristen. :( We didn't go this week because we had the photo person come.

Wednesday - Service Project

My youth are required to do both a minor and a major service project. For their minor service project they pulled weeds in the prayer labyrinth. For this service project we are hoping to go to the Children's Hospital, pending on transportation. Please pray that we will be able to find a 15 passenger van that we don't have to pay for!!

Thursday - Family Fun Night and Lock-In

Our second Family Fun Night has arrived! Our theme for this one is New York, and my team is SO creative that I can't wait to decorate Chapel Hill for it again. :)
As for the lock-in, our youth had been asking us all summer if we could do a lock-in with them. A lock-in means that we spend all night at the church, never go to sleep, and play games all night. I asked the pastor of the church about it and she said it was no problem! So we're having it next Thursday, so long as each person earns 10 points in the days prior to th lock-in. It comes after a long week and after Family Fun Night. Please please pray for rest for us next week!!

There is no fear in love. <3

A Love Blur

I love Project Transformation.  I'm SO happy to be here, I've been blessed with a wonderful team, and I feel that it was God's decision to bring me to Texas this summer.

However, it is not always easy.  I get frustrated, my patience bucket gets a little low, and I am usually exhausted by the end of the day (Hence why I haven't blogged in a little while).
Time is starting to run short here and I can't help but feel like I haven't accomplished nearly half of the things I had dreamed up for the summer.  The combination of being short on weeks left and being big on things I still haven't gotten to do with my youth leads to doubts..

Did we really impact the kids this summer?

Will they remember my face and my lesson plans?

Did we do anything that really matters?

These doubts are normal.  I remember having them last summer around this time as I got set to leave my high school students in Fresno, and I'm not surprised by their presence in my mind this summer.  We all want so badly to make a difference.  We all want to be liked and admired and we want our kids to know how much we love them and how much some of us have sacrificed to be here with them.

 But do they?

Maybe I will never truly know, but this morning I had the opportunity to have my Friday experience at the Perkins' School of Theology here at SMU.  One of the professors at the school said something that really stuck with me.

She referred to what we're doing as a love blur.

She told a story of going on a mission trip where one of her main jobs was to hold the babies and young kids in the village.  She then went on to say how she had to leave, but she left with the knowledge that someone would come in after her who would love them just the same.  She left me with the thought that maybe the kids won't remember my name in a few years.  Maybe they won't remember the different, original themes that we came up with.  Maybe they won't ever know the time and energy we put into entertaining them.

But what they will remember is feeling loved.
Feeling safe in a place where they knew they could be themselves.

What they'll remember is people who cared for them and played with them.

One of the most important things I remembered because of her sentiment is that it's really not even about me.  It's not about whether I'm remembered or whether I'm their favorite.


It's all about the love.