The Golden Rule..

One of the hardest lessons I'm having to learn is this:


treat others how you want to be treated.

It sounds so simple in concept: a lesson to be grasped by the youngest preschooler...

However, when put into practice, it is DIFFICULT.  At least for me.  I don't know about the rest of the world..  I'm not going to lie, I struggle with this one a lot.  Sometimes my quick temper gets the best of me and I find myself putting others in situations that I myself would never hope to be subject to.

I want to be trusted, I want to be respected, I want others to see the light of Christ shine through me. (To name a few)

But do I easily give others my trust?

Do I instantly give respect to those who deserve it?


Do I look for the light of Christ in others?

I'm not sure that I can say yes to any of those questions.  It's a hard realization to grasp, but it's one that I have set my mind to working on.

I wonder what the world would be like if we all followed the golden rule and treated each other in the same manner in which we ourselves would like to be received?

However, I can only change myself.  It starts with me.  My hope is that from this day forward my life will reflect this lesson.

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?

God has really been working in my heart lately.  I feel as if I can't go more than a few hours without feeling the Holy Spirit.  I find myself so overwhelmed by God's goodness and His love. 

What an amazing God.

Christmas should be all year long..

I love Christmas.  I love the ornaments, I love the hot cider, I love the spending time with people we love.  I love the red and green, the twinkling lights..

I love the "Christmas spirit"..  This feeling that gets awoken in people that urges them to help others.  It leads them to serve at soup kitchens, to donate their old jackets, to purchase Christmas presents for children in need.

At the same time I feel bitter towards it.  Let me explain before you start thinking I'm Scrooge.

I love that Christmas makes people want to help others.  It just troubles me that people forget that these people need help all year long.  The people that get fed during Thanksgiving and Christmas likely attend that soup kitchen every week.  Kids need healthy meals and new books to read every single month out of the year.  The Salvation Army accepts donations every single day of the year. 

It's hard for me to understand why Christmas is the only time of year that most of society feels a deep need to give back to others. 

Jesus calls us to serve the poor and give to the needy..

"But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” - Luke 14:13-14

It doesn't say "But ONLY when you give a CHRISTMAS banquet, invite the poor"

I'm not saying that Christmas giving is a bad thing in the slightest..  I just beg of you to not forget these people every other day of the year.  I am so grateful that you have a heart to go to serve at a soup kitchen this Christmas season or buy gifts for one of the angel tree children...  But why don't you consider continuing your generous spirit for the rest of the year?

The needy aren't only needy at Christmas time.  They are needy in January, February, March, and so on..  


Hence why I say Christmas should be all year long..  People need our love every month of the year.  Not just December.  :) 

Social Stigmas versus the Love of Jesus...

On my walk to work this morning I encountered a young man in a wheelchair.  I was running late and walking at a somewhat brisk pace as I came up to him slowly inching himself along.

The bleeding heart in me immediately screamed that I should help him..  Give him a push..  Ask him about his morning..  Something..

Then another voice appeared immediately after - this was one of alarm.  No longer of compassion or mercy for this young man, but one that told me to keep going right on by..  My thoughts went from "of course I should help!" to "What will he think?"  Will he think that I just feel sorry for him and think I am superior in my able body with tall boots on?  Will he think that I merely seem him as special needs?  The kind of person that one takes care of the way that people take care of injured puppies?
All of my social work training on empowerment appeared in my mind..  What if he is harsh with me and tells me that he can do it himself?  What if my attempts at help make him feel feeble, when that is not what I think at all?  What if ...?  What if.. ?

And before I knew it, I had passed him by.  My indecision led to a lack of action.
As I walked in front of him, I kicked myself..

"I wonder if he feels invisible...
Does he know that I saw him and that I care about him, it was just my fear that stopped me?
Does he know that God sees him?"

My fear of social stigmas kept me from loving him as Jesus would have.

I feel like in our culture we are told that people want to do things for themselves.  We (mostly me..  maybe a few of you as well...) tell ourselves that people don't want our help.  They are doing just fine without us.

But is this what God says?  God says to care for the widowed, the poor, the handicapped...  How do I know who to help and who to not?

I guess my question this morning is how do I love people as Jesus would have without being afraid of what society is telling me about how I should behave?

Confidence versus Wisdom

Though this blog was previously filled with posts about Project Transformation, that period in my life is now over.  But I decided I don't think that necessarily means my blogging days need to be over.

When I was younger I used to write all of the time.  When I was in first grade my writing consisted of adventures of made up characters called Christine and Ashley.  When I got a little bit older, it consisted of an extra credit autobiography assignment in Mrs. Vogt's class.  When I got even older than that, into my wonderful "wild child" years as I so lovingly refer to them as, also known as freshman and sophomore year of high school, my writing consisted of journals upon journals of my life, my hopes, my dreams, my fears..  Everything that you'd expect out of an angsty teenager with no clue about the world.

And then my writing stopped.  It got replaced by friends, sports, way too many extracurricular activities, and a job.  And now, nearly seven years after the fact, I finally feel the urge to write again.
I have no idea why.

The truth is, I have no idea about most things in the world.
I will not lie and put up a facade that I have most things figured out.  Yes, I am confident.  I am confident because of the love that I have in my life.  Love that comes from a Heavenly Father that comforts my every fear and cheers my every victory.  Love of my boyfriend, a man who is better than I ever could have dreamed.  His love is consistent and steady, strong and tender at the same time.  The love of a family that was not always perfect, but still loved me with every facet of their beings.  Love that  radiates from some of the best friends you could possible imagine.  Most of them live far away, but their support is my backbone.  

However, this confidence should in no way be mistaken for wisdom.  As previously mentioned, I do not know the inner workings of the world.  I do not know the future, do not know all of history, do not know why I react certain ways sometimes.  I really do not know much of anything.

But I'm okay with that.

Things have been busy around here as usual.. Leading me to write a lot less than I did at the beginning.. Sorry ya'll!

We've been given a lot of amazing opportunties through PT and I've been getting to spend a lot of time with my youth.
The week before last we went to a Rangers game, courtesy of the Rangers themselves! The kids/youth and their families were allowed to get free tickets to the game as long as they were able to get transportation to and from Ranger stadium. A lot of them ended up showing up and we had a great time! It was my first Major League Baseball game ever, and I loved that I got to spend it with the kids I've been pouring my heart into.

Last week I was also able to go mountain biking with my youth for the first time (we didn't get rained out this time, yay!). It was such an amazing experience to be with them outdoors and get the chance to encourage them as we braved the trails. One of my youth girls got a huge cut in her leg while mountain biking, and once we got back to Chapel Hill I attempted to clean it out (good ole hydrogen peroxide!) while Kristen, the mountain biker, held her hand and Katie, my site coordinator, consoled her. Amidst my youth's tears and cries of pain, she managed to convince Nic, one of my co youth leaders, that she had been attacked by a mountain lion! Nic was shocked. After her mom came and picked her up, Kristen and I proceeded to convince all of the interns (except Rico..) at Chapel Hill that we had bravely fought off the ferocious beasts known as mountain lions. Haha! Eventually the truth came out, and even Katie was surprised that we had been making the whole thing up. :)

Yesterday we had a representative from the Dallas Contemporary Museum of Art come to teach us about photography. The youth were split up into pairs and given the task of directing their partner into a photo-worthy pose. My partner was named Hunter. He is a bit of a trouble maker amidst our youth, but I see his heart. He's been through some stuff in his life that no one should have to go through, and I can tell that it hurts him. A lot of the time he states that whatever we're doing is boring and he doesn't like it, but I think (and tell him that I think!) that it's all just an act. I can't wait to see how God works in his life. But anyways, yesterday he was supposed to make me pose in a photo-worthy pose, complete with background and everything and at first it was hard to get him to participate. He told me he couldn't do it, but I continued to ask him questions such as: "Should I pose with my hands on my hips?"; "Should the picture be outside or inside?" and etc. and eventually he ended up with an awesome picture! I ask that you pray for his confidence. A lot of the time he doesn't believe he has the ability to complete the task at hand, and I ask that you pray for God to fill him with hope and with self-assurance. He can do A LOT more than he thinks he can do.

This week coming up is filled with a ton of activities and I ask you to pray for rest for all of the interns!

Our week is going to look like this:
Monday - City Wars

City Wars is a fort building project that we've been working on for a few weeks now. Our youth are split into two teams, and me, Nic, and Kendra have our own team. We are building "cardboard fortresses" with our teams, and then we are going to throw water balloons at eachother's forts during City Wars. The goal is to knock the two other teams' forts down before they manage to knock ours down. My youth are so excited!

Tuesday - Mountain biking

Our last day of mountain biking with Ken and Kristen. :( We didn't go this week because we had the photo person come.

Wednesday - Service Project

My youth are required to do both a minor and a major service project. For their minor service project they pulled weeds in the prayer labyrinth. For this service project we are hoping to go to the Children's Hospital, pending on transportation. Please pray that we will be able to find a 15 passenger van that we don't have to pay for!!

Thursday - Family Fun Night and Lock-In

Our second Family Fun Night has arrived! Our theme for this one is New York, and my team is SO creative that I can't wait to decorate Chapel Hill for it again. :)
As for the lock-in, our youth had been asking us all summer if we could do a lock-in with them. A lock-in means that we spend all night at the church, never go to sleep, and play games all night. I asked the pastor of the church about it and she said it was no problem! So we're having it next Thursday, so long as each person earns 10 points in the days prior to th lock-in. It comes after a long week and after Family Fun Night. Please please pray for rest for us next week!!

There is no fear in love. <3

A Love Blur

I love Project Transformation.  I'm SO happy to be here, I've been blessed with a wonderful team, and I feel that it was God's decision to bring me to Texas this summer.

However, it is not always easy.  I get frustrated, my patience bucket gets a little low, and I am usually exhausted by the end of the day (Hence why I haven't blogged in a little while).
Time is starting to run short here and I can't help but feel like I haven't accomplished nearly half of the things I had dreamed up for the summer.  The combination of being short on weeks left and being big on things I still haven't gotten to do with my youth leads to doubts..

Did we really impact the kids this summer?

Will they remember my face and my lesson plans?

Did we do anything that really matters?

These doubts are normal.  I remember having them last summer around this time as I got set to leave my high school students in Fresno, and I'm not surprised by their presence in my mind this summer.  We all want so badly to make a difference.  We all want to be liked and admired and we want our kids to know how much we love them and how much some of us have sacrificed to be here with them.

 But do they?

Maybe I will never truly know, but this morning I had the opportunity to have my Friday experience at the Perkins' School of Theology here at SMU.  One of the professors at the school said something that really stuck with me.

She referred to what we're doing as a love blur.

She told a story of going on a mission trip where one of her main jobs was to hold the babies and young kids in the village.  She then went on to say how she had to leave, but she left with the knowledge that someone would come in after her who would love them just the same.  She left me with the thought that maybe the kids won't remember my name in a few years.  Maybe they won't remember the different, original themes that we came up with.  Maybe they won't ever know the time and energy we put into entertaining them.

But what they will remember is feeling loved.
Feeling safe in a place where they knew they could be themselves.

What they'll remember is people who cared for them and played with them.

One of the most important things I remembered because of her sentiment is that it's really not even about me.  It's not about whether I'm remembered or whether I'm their favorite.


It's all about the love.